Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Broliver presents: Worthless Wednesday

Good eve, brothers
Well tonight I decided to hit the town solo and basically sober. I had a couple light cocktails comprised of vodka and G2. An absolutely atrocious drink, I assure you. My friend Dave has work early so he went to bed, I decided to pop on some lesbian porn, courtesy of and then head out into the night. I said "HI" to some cute jogger running past for a midnight run, she ignored me, I laughed. I went into the club using my week old wristband as proof of being there that same night (not even same colored band, fucking idiots). I saw the place was entirely empty, first two girls I see are pretty chubby but just chilling alone, I talk to them, girl shows me tattoo on upper thigh, we chat about bullshit, I decide they aren't hot at all, they go for drinks and tell me they'll be right back, I walk away to find the other 2 girls who are in this dead club. We banter and bullshit for a while, name exchange, story telling etc. they aren't attractive I finish talking to them. Go see some actual attractive women, talk to them they completely ignore me as I'm talking right in their face, I love how polite women are in clubs :D
There was one girl that was talking to for a bit and getting intimate and then she tells me how she's bored so I offered to fuck her on the dance floor, the conversation went kind of lke this:
m: okay let's go fuck on the dance floor, that'll shake things up
h: oh my god NO!!! (while giggling)
m: okay, nott yet the, I can wait
h: no, never, I'm in a relationship! I have a boyfriend!
m: okay, I guess we'll have to bang in the washroom, not my first pick, it's not exactly clean
This kind of went on for a while but the message was clear, she was in a loving relationship and didn't want to engage in intercourse inside or around the club.
They're friend (male) sees this and kind of just gives me a shrug and a look like "yeah they're cunts but what are you gonna do" I shake his hand and walk away.
I leave the club and find a German and Australian dude who are planning on going on. This goes bad because every girl I decide to meet the australian guy just intervenes in and goes off on his Aussie accent charade and then eventually ruins it for himself, this happened like 3 times.

Oh before leaving the club I saw this big group of fit girls and picked my favorite, went up and started talking to her, she gave me a few tests but just blew through that shit and started rubbing her side and pulling her in and what not. She seemed very down but her friends were all gathered around us chanting some shit like "PLAYER PLAYER" or something equally disruptive. So she says "I'm sorry my friends are making this too embarrassing" anyway, shit times ensure they tell me it's girls night out and a bunch of other crap, that's when I went out.

Continuing with Aussie dude, fuck him, douche bag, I did some tequila shots with them though, $3 shots wasn't bad so I thought I'd have one.

Anyway I'll spare you guys the boring details but this whole trend continued, either getting completely dismissed immediately or having the chicks talk for a while or just walking away or anything but success. Ended up smoking weed with some weird dude who claims he used to live in Mission and some other antics ensued. Anyway, nothing really blog worthy but I decided if I figure this blog needs updatinz so why not?!
(Just realized my mistake, I didn't notice that the pants were with me in spirit, next time)

p.s I'm still not welcome at the Alehouse, I must have fucked up real bad.

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