Friday, September 24, 2010

Tuesday is the new Friday

A couple weeks ago, me and a couple bro's decided that weekdays are much better to go out. Cheaper beer, better specials and such. Sure not as much people but also means less dodes, chodes and douche bags, they all have to wake up at 5am and go to there daddy's construction site, then GTL. Anyway we head downtown to a bar called forum because pitchers on a tuesday is 10 bucks! and there was a mechanical bull. We get there and it was dead as fuck like we expected so we sat down and slammed 5 pitchers, the club started picking up and now were all shiiitfaced, one of the bros runs into a chick from his hometown he doesn't like so I use that excuse to go and talk to her, turns out she speaks afghani and is like one hundred percent white, she lives with like 5 brown dudes that were with her that night, all sitting around with her and shit staring at me wishing they could cut my dick off and cook me or something. Regardless I start making out with her and stuff it was getting a little weird cuz she was rubbing my johnson right in front of them so I told her we had to go and she was all down, she tells her afghani roomies this and they start yelling in there language for about 5 minutes, I am too drunk to react to this fighting so I just sit there swaying side to side, trying to stay concious. Eventually she turns to me and the look on her face reminded me of when you asked your parents if your bestfriend could sleep over and they said no and you were way to upset. So she tells me she can't fuck me tonight. It looked like she was about to cry it was so fucked up haha like these brown guys are all her boyfriends and dads at the same time.

So eventually we leave and we end up at this hotdog stand, it was the tastiest damn hotdog i ever had, I ended up telling this dude how amazing his hot dogs were for like ten minutes and shaking all the staffs hands and shit then for some reason after that we go to megabite and i spill the entire condiment counter on myself cuz I fell into it reaching for the hot sauce. Now I am blacked out and have franks hot sauce all over me. The night was not over yet, although it should have been, so damn sloppy.

We end up at the roxy and at this point i am talking to any chick who looks at me for a millisecond, lots of them were probably cuz i had a condiment station on my shirt. Somehow I start dancing with like the hottest chick ever and she was loving it. My friend turns me around laughing saying we have to go and that I do not know how to dance at all and you look way to cool to be here right now. I agreed with them and then we drove home. The end.

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