Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Boy Who Slew The Dragon With The Girl Tattoo

Part II: The Encounter

Paulson our knight in shining armor, had just spent his Friday night with his fair wench, Blank. Come saturday morn, he set out about the city, finding fresh fruit, skewered goat, coconuts and other local eats. Everett curtailed his market search; bringing his hoard to the beach. Where Blank and the other volunteers were sunbathing and water bathing( in the sea). Everett had not always paid attention to all the volunteers, and generally forgot their faces or names. Save for those he enjoyed getting sinisterly intoxicated with. They were John Everyman, Frank Grimes, Charlie Brown, his woman, Jane Doe and Lois Lane.

Of course his compatriots were at the beach, they always were. Though, they weren't alone.

(This is the encounter part)


Lying next to his Funky Neilla*, was THE DRAGON!

Our hero was dumb struck, not only was she a dragon, she was all the more Draconian in contrast to his British girl(with nice teeth). A long visage, with a hooked nose. Her crooked smile permanently plastered to her lips. The Worm(Fact: JRR Tolkien called Dragons, Worms.) had a long neck that trailed down to her sinewy and yet square shoulders. He torso was lenghty and with out definition. Her legs were long and thin, not fat, but not nice either.

Yes...She truly was a Fire-Snake.

But before our hero could forget about her, and go on his way to his dear maiden. Something caught his attention..

Find out next time in The Dragons Treasure.

* A funky neilla is a hot girl.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Boy Who Slew The Dragon With The Girl Tattoo


The dragon did not have a tattoo.
But here is a story.

Part one.
There was a boy, his name is Everett Richard Paulson. This boy is our hero.
He is a volunteer teacher is a small town called Akyem Achiase(Achim Aschiasay). The boy had taken to visiting a british girl by the name of Blank LeBlank every weekend. He travelled for a while by transport to see her, for a damn good reason.

A weekend past he had gone down to see the girl.

He saw her friday night, but on saturday something awry had happened. The two lovers did not meet up.


What could have been regular saturday evening down in Takoradi, a coastal city in the country of Ghana, changed dramatically for our young hero. A simple evening turned into a moral and standard shaking event. (with sexy results.)

Next time..

Part two: The Encounter

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Kickass fucking weekend.

Hey my brothers, post moar.

So on Friday I was itching to do something but White Rock was being lame as usual and everyone was busy, I decided to go buy a mickey of Russian Prince vodka and bus to Vancouver. I found some buddies from North Van who were going to the Cambie, I really wanted to see Calvin Harris play Celebrities but tickets were $40 and I didn't really feel crazy enough to try and sneak in, so I just headed to the Cambie after a half-assed attempt at negotiating with the bouncer at celebs. Cambie was amazing, saw some good buddies that I hadn't seen in ages and met the coolest girl I've ever met in my entire life, there were these faggy nerd-type dudes trying to hit on her and friend the whole night but I helped them escape a night of boredom and doom haha, all in all excellent night!

Saturday night was Brother Ryland's epic birthday. We showed up at Fiji house, started shooting some pool while watching UFC and drinking Sailor Jerry's fucking nasty Rum. I told the girl from Friday to come meet us at Ceili's, she busses out from Burnaby solo, so fucking cool of her. Anyway, had a great time at Ceili's, bromance, romance and face licking deluxe. After Ceili's we ate some kickass Romano's pizza and cabbed back with the intention to Strobe (read: getting way too fucking high and immersing yourself in Deadmau5's epic 'Strobe') but instead we just ended up watching Grandma's boy, I don't think I've ever been so high. We were passing around a bong like it was a joint, just silliness, Ryland was rolling on the street laughing because he didn't realize I was me. Everyone passed out on couches within like 10 minutes of the movie starting, but I stayed awake throughout laughing like an insane man, completely on my own.

I'd like to hear from the other brother's as to how their weekend went!
Broliver OUT

tonight I went to the Strip Club


A word of advice: do not go to a strip club sober and/or as the DD. Alcohol makes us better people, drink it whenever you can.

-Brother Mitch

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Die Antwoord

no words can describe....

videos will be up soon.

but for now,

my version of The Answer

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Brothers. This weekend was definitely one of my biggest highlights of the year. Never have I been so satisfied with the intensity given on a Saturday night.

Let me start of by giving you the definition of a brother
Brother : A male sibling is called a brother; . In most societies throughout the world, siblings usually grow up together and spend a good deal of their childhood socializing with one another. This genetic and physical closeness may be marked by the development of strong emotional bond such as love or enmity. The emotional bond between siblings is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality, and personal experiences outside the family.

Emotional Bond, Love and Enmity. This is the utmost I can say about the whole lot of you. SO HOMO.

Friday started as a precursor to my day, but nothing too exciting happened. I went to a japanese, karoke restaurant for one of my friends birthday with Brother Mitch. We had some good laughs and conversations and for I believe for the first time in my life I saw 100 chinese guido's. Yes they do exist, but they are extremely gay. I'm not a tall guy, but they were all shorter than me wearing XS Ed Hardy T-shirts found at the kids section in wal-mart. I remember at one point of the night I went to the washroom and they were talking about buying an ounce of weed as if it was an extremely illegal drug in Canada and treating it like heroin. FUCK YOU CHINESE GUIDO'S, y'all can suck my dick.

Now, Saturday's are typical. You drink a little and you have a good time with friends. But this saturday was unlike most. I had a carpool so there was no need to worry about a ride home. I had free beer, so there was no need to worry about drinks (Albeit I did buy more at the bar which was probably not the best idea). But the biggest thing that I had was the brothers. Almost all the brother's I could possibly imagine were at the blackforest this night. And what a night it was. Crossing Swords all over the place. That night was also the best pool game I've played in my entire life. Yes there were many girls, and yes there were many smooches. But the best part were the gay moments. We were in a bar full of Ed-Hardy Fags, yet we stood infront of all of them pooching out our belly's and hugging each other for 10 minutes, talking about how gay we are and how we should all convert to gayinism. No but seriously, Girls we had girls. Cept Nick, those emo girls shunned him, like we all shunned fat kids when we were in elementary school (Wait a minute we still do that now). Anyways, I won't get into too much details. But let's just say it was a night we all forgot yet remembered(it wasn't suppose to make sense).

The best part of going home is always seeing my mom and my doggie. Flash. We had turkey dinner on sunday ( I also had turkey dinner at jason's place on saturday before the forest). I do miss them already, but I'll be seeing the two of them quite soon. Now it's back to school and exams. But Life is good. Much better than last year. AND last year was awesome too. That's saying a lot.

Faggotry aside, miss you bros.


Brotastic Turkey Weekend!

Hello my brothers!
Well Friday was a pretty good ol' fashion time. Met up with my good friend Blake and we went to some Birthday party, which was tame and not exactly what I was looking for (wild tymez). I did learn a new drinking game though called "Connections" which basically just ends up with everyone chugging massive amounts of alcohol. There is no skill or luck or surprise, basically just lets you know who the sadists of the group are.
Blake and I decided to leave the party and hit up the Sandpiper because it was Karaoke night. There was a girl with the tramp stamp "Michael's" on her lower back, I was hitting on her for a bit and Blake texted me "michaels going to be pissed" haha classic.
I sang "All out of love" by Air Supply in somewhat of a Creedish voice, it was awesome, people slow-danced and applauded. I saw some girl checking me out so I grabbed her and started furiously making out with her, she was twisting my nipples and biting my ear, this actually turned me on quite a bit, pain is nice sometimes. Anyway went for the pull like 10 minutes after meeting her because Blake was leaving and I wanted a place to crash, she wasn't ready to go yet so I said fuck it and peaced out. Her loss.

Saturday night: Glorious Bromantics unleashed upon Blackforest.
This was the best night ever, drunkeness, seeing all my old buddies, catching up with all the brothers and meeting a couple new brothers! Games of pool were won, whiskey was shot and bromance was expressed, to a new level! My memories of this night are hazy but I remember getting punched in the face by some irate woman and then dodging the rest of her attacks while telling her to discontinue her actions. Big shout outs to Brother Ryland, Brother Nick, Brother Brandon and of course Brother Naresh for making this night unforget/givable.

Sunday: Turkey times deluxe with the family, got high beforehand to ensure a proper quantity of food consumed. Glorious.

Tuesday: Brother Nick's Birthday.
Complete insanity, shared a bottle of our old friend Jimmy Beam, headed out, hit up the Forum for ESL Night. Meaning we were the only white dudes in there lol. Complete awesomeness, dancing like retards, big brogang-hugs on the dancefloor, grinding hard on any unsuspecting ESL girl to enter my range of vision, saw some latina bombshell giving me eyes, lifted her up, spun her around, then full on make-out times, biting groping etc, goddamn it got hot in there fast, but it was time for karaoke at Two Parrots and all my friends were leaving! Bros before hoes? I guess. :(

Turns out the wait on karaoke was long as fuck, I signed up for Only The Good Die Young, by Billy Joel but had neither the time nor the inclination to wait for over an hour. I asked some girl if she was into anal sex, she told me no.
At the Forum there was a dance-off going on between some black dudes, at some point James and I intruded upon the dance circle and started doing the funky chicken, the robot and other retarded dances as this one dude was trying to do some lame breakdance bullshit, he was pissed off but too much of a pussy to say anything so some black guy came up and told me that it was the other dude's turn to dance and I could go after haha. He actually thought I was competing in this faggotry. Outside I saw some girl and told her she was "cute enough to have my next abortion" that didn't go over too well. Saw some blonde bombshell told her "cum ear" and started hugging her she was reciprocating quite well until I grabbed her hand and put it on my dick, she was offended by my open display of romance. What a bitch.
I realized we were outside of the Commodore just as Die Antwoord was finishing up (fucking wish I went!!!) and realized Brother Moe was inside so I gave his fine ass a call. Indeed he was coming outside just at that moment, we got to have a brief encounter of bromantic bliss and parted ways.

Awesome weekend all in all, I know you other brothers have insane stories from this thanksgiving weekend as well so post em up!
peace and brove.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I'm back tomorrow

I'm back for 2 days brothers. I Come to see my mother, my dog, and of course the whole lot of you. Let's Drink Friday, Then Have Turkey Saturday, Karoke Downtown Sunday, and I'll see you all in victoria the friday after? I will leave a kick ass post once my last midterm in the department of mathematics is over. I Love You All.

PS Brother Navin Killed On His Biology Midterm. So I don't think breakups are on his mind.

Monday, October 4, 2010


This weekend I watched some movies while I put off studying, We were supposed to go out as a brotherhood on saturday but it flopped.

I watched "get him to the greek" first, it was okay the only really funny part way p.diddy talking about mindfucking.Overall it was a good time waster .
Next I watched Stomp "The Yard: Homecoming" this is a movie about black people dancing that also teaches positive morals about teamwork, I couldn't get enough. There were only 20 dance scenes, I would have appreciated a few more(10-20 more would have been sufficient). there was one white person in the whole movie and he was dancer too: I wasn't expecting that at all, it was a pretty fucked up plot twist. If you like to watch black people dance I recommend this movie strongly.
I also happened to catch a classic "forces of nature" starring Ben Affleck . Overall Ben Affleck should have been replaced by Hugh Grant for sure.

When did I get time to study? somewhere in there, it's not really important.

"Keep ya head up brotha"-Quote from stomp the yard: homecoming

-Brother Mitch

Saturday, October 2, 2010

First night back in Vancouver City, in ages

Good morning brothers,
So I decided to head down to UBC to meet up with a friend I hadn't see in almost 2 years, I only met this dude once but it was at a 10-day meditation retreat which was a pretty epic point in my life, and even though there was no talking allowed a deep connection was built with the people I did this retreat with. My friend Nader was one of those guys, awesome dude, he traveled across Canada the same time as I did but in the opposite direction. Anyway we chilled near Wrek beach for a while and watched the sunset, it was indescribably epic. After that I walked up to my buddy Liam's place to see what he was up to. We drank some Rum and Coke and hit a party. I won a couple games of pool, crushed some beers, drank stranger's wine got hit on by like an 80 year old chinese lady who was collecting cans from the frat house.

Liam and I are told by some dode that he can get us into some faggy club "Post Modern" for free with no line and shit. So we went along, caught the bus, mowed some pizza and hit the town. I spotted 3 hotties so I went up and started talking, one of them expected a piggy-back ride because her heel's were hurting her feet. I told her to take off her shoes and give me a piggyback ride. Her friends were like "nah, he's too small to lift you anyway" I knew this was some dumb-cunt trick so instead of proving them wrong and giving them a piggy back ride I just stopped everyone from walking, eyed the girl up and down said "I think I could lift her" grabbed her below her ass so her tits were in my face, spun around in a 360, then dropped her hips so her legs were wrapped around mine and started dry humping her on the sidewalk, her friends were freaking out and I was laughing. Liam caught up with me to see what was going on and I knew that I kind of blew it with this group so I just peaced out with him, was hilarious.

The club was a fiasco, the dude's "contact" was some 18 year old promoter or something who had no connections whatsoever, the bouncers completely dismissed his request to get 10 fucking dude's in, obviously, so we head out. Walk around randomly, use a bathroom in a coffee shop to wash off the fucking war paint that some girls drew on us at the bus stop, as liam and I are both in the washroom washing ourselves this little asian dude walks in and before he can quickly walk back out I stop him and say "it's okay man, come on, take a poo, we won't judge" then he started walking back in as if he was about to do it then freaked out and started shaking his head going "no,no,no,no" and got the hell out of there haha.

Some other funny bullshit happened but nothing amazing, I ended up catching the last bus home, hopefully if the brothers unite tonight it will be epic.

A New Brother, And A New Bachelor

Dear Brothers, I am here to inform you of the new brother who has joined our ranks, Brother Navin. He In turn is also my RL brother. Brother Navin went through his first ever break up yesterday and I believe that we should give him words of encouragement and wisdom to cheer up this poor sac... Remember a first break up is quite hard on a brother, Just Ask Brother Yazad.

Let me begin. From the mouth of America's Greatest TV Doctor. (Dr.Phil)

  • In time, it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with your life and love. Otherwise, you are giving away your power to the people who hurt you.
  • Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is about you, not your ex.
  • Don't start thinking about being friends right away — if ever. You have to be your own friend first.
  • Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and each little step is part of your healing.
  • Define your real intentions. Are you trying to move past the breakup, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won't move on until you've accepted that the relationship is over.
  • Be careful about the language you use. When you use catastrophic terms like "nightmare," "terrible," and "horrible," you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Focus on what you can do.
  • Sometimes you can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger and sadness.
  • Don't embarrass yourself or put yourself in a situation where you'll look back and feel humiliated. Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls or e-mailing non-stop is no way to let go of the past or come out with your head high.
  • Learn to trust again. Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's a risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest. You can go through life suspicious, or loving and laughing.