Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Well its about time

Dear Brothers,
First off I would like to apologize for my lack of posts, I have been tremendously lazy for the past 2 months and haven't gotten around to leaving an update until now. I can assure you it is worth the wait. Since the beginning of the school year I have obtained several injuries, some have stories tied to them that are interesting the others are just an inconvenience for myself. I shall start with what I think is the most interesting.

It was a blustery fall afternoon, the sun was shinning and the birds were chirping. Feelings of happiness at the thought of partying with an old friend in a new city warmed my heart as I waited in line for the 3 o'clock ferry to Swartz Bay. After a short boat ride and a few wrong turns I arrived at Casa De La Bros. I was greeted by Brother Naresh with open arms and a big hug, I nearly sprlurged in my pants. We had no time to waste, some catching up was in order as well as grocery and booze shopping. When all was said and done we returned to Casa De La Bros and prepared a magnificent feast consisting of a roasted pig (with an apple in its mouth) a smoked swamp creature that I had caught while fishing off the side of the ferry boat, and more ale than one mans thirst could quench. Yes, this was fine living indeed. Brother Naresh introduced me to his roommates, Scott, Newey, Ian and Cassel who was not a roommate but widely accepted as one of the group. As we sat at the round table plotting our plan of attack for party time that evening, one Bro recommended going into the heart of Victoria to a club called 'Sugar'. There were several acquaintances that were either having supposed birthday celebrations or had managed to create a guest list that we all were on. When the blueprints had been forged and our hungers filled, the Bros enjoyed a nice pre-drinking game I like to call 'watch Jersey Shore while drinking and laugh a whole bunch at how retarded they are'. When we all had a good buzz going on, we hit the road hard and arrived at Sugar around 10-10:30. The line up was longer than my penis, so we decided to wait in the other line up designated for those on a guest list. This line up was smaller than my penis. Unfortunately the person whose guest list we were on had not yet arrived and was needed in person to let us in. A bunch of horses shit if you ask me but I couldn't be bothered, I knew I was going to have a night I would never forget. When the guest of honor arrived she had a limit of 10 people to point out in the crowd and let in. By this time we were closest to the front of the line but many more club-goers had formed a wall behind us. Since I didn't know who the guest of honor was and she didn't know me, I was not picked as one of the 'top ten' to invite inside. Instead she invited her close friends and some of the Bros. When they entered the building, #16 (a bouncer I will later refer to) asked the remaining Bros as well as myself to exit our current line and enter the chump line. We complied and snuck our way past a few people, every now and then inching our way past some more chumps as they turned away to speak to other chumps. Close to midnight I was granted access to the club and went straight for the bar. The place was so crowded and noisy I could not walk anywhere without bumping into someone. As I arrived at the bar I was greeted by Brother Naresh and a shot of Tequila that went down the hatch faster than I could have hoped for. As the night progressed the Bros had split up for the most part and were either drinking at the bar or dancing on the floor. Our only means of communication was via text messages. Around 1:20-1:30 I received a text from Brother Naresh stating the following, "Let's all meet outside and catch a cab WOOOO!!!!!". I finished my beverage and proceeded to make my way through the dance floor past the bar and straight down the stairs to the exit. The task seemed simple enough, however my exit strategy was flawed and I was faced with many obstacles. Trying to walk through the dance floor required either moving people out of the way or breaking apart couples trying to dance. It had to be done in order to leave so I felt no remorse. Once I reached to bar my surroundings had cleared up slightly. I could make out the stairs in the distance and I made my way towards them. Suddenly another obstacle took shape, now this part of the story is very important because this is where my world was flipped upside down in the matter of approximately 60-70 seconds. 20 or so feet away from the stairs, half of the hallway was blocked by a large group of people chatting and drinking, as I walked to the other half of the hallway, four mutants who had most likely been waiting in the chump line up for more than an hour were finally granted access to what they were expecting to be heaven. As our paths collided I attempted to move my left shoulder to the side as to not ram the individual in the face with my body. Unfortunately my act of good will did not go unpunished, as if I were invisible he bumped into anyway. I thought nothing of it and continued walking for the stairs. As I laid my right foot on the first step, I felt a hand grab my left bicep, instinctively I turned around to see who the hand belonged to. To my surprise it was #16 the bouncer. To give you a brief description of the man I now call an asshole he had short ginger hair and a stupid beard, I myself measure in height 6'4" but #16 was taller perhaps 6'6". I call him #16 because all the bouncers at the club had a number tag on their jackets as opposed to a name tag. His number was 16. He looked at me with a mean mug that I took as unfriendly. "Do you want to apologize for that?" he asked, "Apologize for what?" I asked. "You were trying to fight that guy" the asshole exclaimed. I was so caught off-guard by his wild claim that I laughed at him told him he was mistaken, then turned around and started walking down the stairs again, which released his grip from my arm. I did so without hostility or the intention of annoying him, I simply wanted to walk out the front door like a gentleman and without blood on my hands. However the asshole must have been extremely insulted by my behavior because of my lack of respect for his supposed authority. I felt my left bicep being grabbed again, but this time # 16 pulled me back and turned me around. "Are you trying to fight me?", he said rather angrily. I told him that I wasn't but nonetheless he grabbed the back of my neck with his right hand and attempted to thrust his left knee into my abdomen several times. Fortunately I saw it coming and blocked the blows with my right hand which was free from his grasp. Still holding onto my neck and left arm, he then threw me out of what I call "the reject exit" (which is designed for those causing a disturbance in the club) out the door and past the ropes. When I turned around he was already fleeing up the stairs we had come down while the door closed behind him. I was so dumbfounded by what had just taken place that it took me a moment or two to realize what had just taken place. Now if you are someone who knows me well enough than you would know that I am a mellow fellow for the most part. I myself cannot recall the last time I was as angry over something as this. as the rage built up from the pit of my stomach, fueled by alcohol adrenaline and testosterone. I tried to reason with one of the other bouncers to get this #16 to come downstairs and apologize for his wrongdoing. The bouncer basically treated me as if I were worthless and refused my request, than attempted to ignore me. That's when I lost it and through one of the rope poles on the ground to get their attention. I asked again to get "That piece of shit" downstairs to apologize. They refused once again, by this time the Bros were al outside trying to convince me to drop the matter and catch a cab. I realized that it was a lost cause and proceeded to walk down the street until the rage built up enough that I had to release my anger. Unfortunately instead of yelling at the clouds or having another drink I decided to punch a brick wall with all my strength. This is not one of my proudest moments but nonetheless something I had to deal with, three days later when I returned home a doctor confirmed that I had obtained what they have nicknamed a "Boxer's Fracture". I cannot blame #16 for fracturing my hand, I had done that to myself and that is something that I had to accept and move past. What annoys me is the fact that I clearly was not trying to engage anyone at the club in combat including him. I simply wanted to have a good night full of dancing drinking and laughing.
For those wishing to visit Victoria's nightlife, I must admit that Sugar is a decent club, crowded at time but a great time. Do not be discouraged by this club because of this individual, simply keep in mind that if you go to this location and see this asshole that you should be careful, because he clearly is more of a threat to the environment then the environment is to itself. I had told this story to another student at at the same complex as Casa De La Bros and he mentioned that he had a similar experience with a bouncer at the very same club (could be a coincidence but who the fuck knows).

The tale of my second injury goes out to those Bros who are a strong believer in being physically active at the gym. A word to the wise: do not do any shoulder exercises that involve being seated i.e. seated shoulder press, seated shrug machine etc. I have tried these machines and they are a terrible exercise for your neck. I confirmed this with my chiropractor Dr. Pierre DesLauriers ( that these seated exercises are not only terribly ineffective towards building muscles but they also put a tremendous amount of tension on your neck. As a result of usage (after two reps) I am left with a great deal of pain in my neck that runs down my right shoulder blade. Fortunately Pierre has been helping me with recovery, and has recommended doing Functional Exercises. I urge all my brothers interested in physical well-being to investigate functional exercises and use them in their workout routines. Currently I am looking into Russian Kettlebell Training. It is supposed to be intense and surprisingly effective.

Apart from my injuries, most things are A okay in Jasonland, I miss my Bros but I know we shall reunite in the near future. I look forward to reading more posts about all of our adventures. I'm not one to talk but please keep the brotherhood alive and KEEP POSTING.


XOXO Brother Jason

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